Somehow i'm ruining my whole life because of the series of events that have been occuring recently... First up came the screwed-up elections... Yeah that was one major hit to me... Still trying to pick up the pieces from where i was left... Then, came my social life.... Because of the stupid elections, it has strained a couple of relationships i have with my friends within the exco and outside the exco...
Of course then came along BGR where yeah she's attached... The gal from the lamp is now attached with this guy i guess... And my relationship with her has kinda strained becoz of my depressed behaviour... Yeah i'm really in a very depressed mood now.... Its really affecting me..... Family has taken a hit becoz of the complicated issues that has been taking place with my family and my brother-in-law's family... Life's really been a bitch and it really sucks...
The haircut was really a refreshing thing and i'm recovering from everything slightly.... Guys so sorry to have made you guys worry and really appreciate all the concern you guys have shown.... Life goes on i guess... I hope i recover from this soon.....

My new hairstyle sucks....

I'm becoming scared of ppl now..... There's this huge barrier which i wanna put up around my inner wall which i don't want people to come in.

Life's pretty amazing when you're down a shitload of stuff hit u. Socially, work-related, BGR, family.... Yeah all the major shits that will go wrong will go wrong at the same time.... I need the time off.... Life can't go on anymore.....

When the world has turned its back on you, you know things will never be the same again....... I've decided to be a opportunistic person one who will only go out to do things for ppl if there are things in it for me. If not forget about it.... Humans are such amzing creatures.... Its time to be a realist and not let ideals and dreams mislead or hurt u. People don't really care if they hurt your feelings or not, what they do is just do what's in it for them. Thats all about it.... I'm just a working tool or stepping stone to what people around me want... Carey can help me do this.... Carey can a not? My future answer will be "Sure, why not?!" and leave it as that... Coz I know ppl do the same to me too.

I'm so close to giving up friends in SMU, not many are friends and those that were have all been lost. The fine line will be drawn and friends and enemies will be known. I will never trust anyone from smu again. This world is full of hypocrites, and everyone in that fucked-up sch is one. I hate them. I wanna quit school........

I hate them..... I hate them..... T really hate them.......

Lessons Learnt:

No. 1 - Never trust your "friends", ppl whom you have made scarifices for over the past year. Unless they can really be trusted. If not, you'll just be stabbed in the back. And when they come to you and apologise you know they're just hypocrites....

No. 2 - Ren bu wei ji tian zu di mie. Every man for himself, there's no friends in the fight to survive.

And yet somehow these two lessons i know won't be learnt.... Sometimes I wonder why am i so guilible? To go all out to these mother fuckers who don't give a shit abt your feelings at the end. Ppl whom you've worked with over the year, people whom you've made certain sacrifices for. Yet they just cast you away like a used newpaper... Have I not done enough for the fraternity to prove my worth? Tears did drop down my face when i thought through it. I know whats done cannot be undone but I just have to go out holding my head high.... But it hurts me so much.... To be stabbed so painfully in the heart by the people whom some i really considered "friends". Ppl whom u call friends..... I scorn at that word. I loathe that word. Ppl who i thought would do something for me.. My foot they would do anything. They just see benefits they can reap from u and discard u away.

No matter how hard i try to spit the venom out, it has gone too far in to be cast away.