Just realised something impt.... The most impt is not whether you're happy for one day but many many other days..... Whether you have friends who stand by you and keep you life as fulfilled and fun for those many other days. I guess thats a big thing I overlooked....
Thinking about my other days, I realise yeah some where indeeed fun, some were irritating, some exciting.... I guess I really don't know what I want still.... I have no idea of what I really need and my goal in life.... Perhaps to stay happy everyday bah.... Thats a goal... I think i'm just in a emotional slump which will always pick up or a while then go down. Life's all abt ups and downs I guess. Its just how you deal with it....
Since, i'm in a pensive mood I guess I should start writing and thinking about my goals and my ideals. I've always thought how you treat people , then others will treat you in the same manner. But I guess it was just too ideal.... No one knows what you really want unless you yourself ask for it or voice it out... Sigh, I always try and make people happy on their birthdays in hope they would try to make me happy on mine. I guess tats just a little to ideal to think of rite? Or perhaps I haven't done much on people's birthday to warrant such a treatment... Guys any feedback on this?
But still i will follow this principle of mine with an exceptional view not to carry to high hopes that people will treat the same way to you. Its my initial principles and I will follow it.... This made me think about how when I throw "tantrums" I realise something, when someone is angry, I get very worried about that particular person and try to appease that particular person... So I assume tat when I get angry, people will bow to my whims and fancies... Which isn't the case at all... What a realisation.... oh well, I bet you guys are laughing at this lor...
hmm... A goal in life? To be successful and stay happy always lah.... simple but sweet..... I'm pretty simple minded.... Which is good in some way but bad in another.... Argggghhhhh... Life is so frustrating sometimes...
When you're down, you think everyone treats you like dirt, when you're up, everything seems to come together... Anything you do seems possible and probable... That's life... Its about how much "form" you have... On form or off form... Sounds funny but its true I feel. K k gotta go be slave to other people now... Another time i guess....

A uneventful birthday would be very apt to describe today or rather yesterday... So I asked myself.... What do I really want? You were the one that said you didn't want any presents or anything.... So what is it I really want?
The more I ponder I realise perhaps I just wanna feel a little special on my birthday. To feel a little love. To know that people in this world still care about me. I don't need presents, I don't need big hoo haa stuff... Perhaps just to hear people's voices congradulating me and perhaps shower me and let me have my whims and fancys..... I know I didn't today..... Whatever I chose was just for the sake of others... Not for myself.....
Thinking till here, I realise I'm at fault for this stupid problem too..... I don't know what I want either..... I'm just to "sui bian"... No ability to make any decisions or perhaps too embarassed to make decisions for fear of inconvience of others.... Perhaps no, that is the reason why I'm so miserable today......
Why am I so scared of being alone when people more or less lead lives alone more than half of the time? That loathsome fear..... That utter disgusting feeling... It just drives me to the fact that I don't wanna offend people or inconvience others.... Bah... Know thy fear.... But to conquer thy fear is another uphill fight...
Dude!! Get a life! Oh well, Happy Birthday to Me.......

Been watching anime with theme of love in them..... SO SWEET!!!! Fwah can help but immerse myself in such a wonderful fantasy... Though endings may not turn out like what I wanted but its really nice and addictive.... Plus anime have great soundtracks which makes the scences have a stronger and more emotional impact on people.....
Well, if you guys really are TAT bored go watch anime man.... I recommend titles like AIR (my all time favourite), Kimi Ga Nozumu Eien and Saikano. Sure to bring a tear for all you emotional freaks out there.... Super nice... Just watch and you'll know what I mean... Of course you can borrow from me lah IF you ask....
People always have this concept that anime is about something childish... But there are adult themes sometimes. For example, love, friendship, hate, pain etc. People always misunderstand its just about the cool fighting scenes when there are other scenes like rejection, the predicament and the inner feelings of the protagonist. Sometimes I feel its better than drama. I always say, give things a try. Who knows you may like them.

Have been wanting to write about this for a long time but sometimes you kinda just forget what you want to write about during that spur of the moment... Feels kinda irritating at that point of time. But hey I finally remembered what I want to write! So what is it about?? Birthday Parties.
I kinda realised that birthdays are really obligations for people to attend. Why so? I mean if you attend somebody's birthday they will be obliged to attend yours simple as that..... So if people attend your party sometimes its just a OBLIGATION.... Which is kind of sad..... I mean so everyone will be attending each other's birthday party just for the sake of showing their face... In louis context, waste of money. BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!! Right louis?? Of course this means the present has no sincerity lor.....
Its kinda like a rabid disease, one person invites you, you feel obliged to attend and when you invite others they feel obliged to attend.... And it goes round and round.... No offence to people whom I have attended birthday parties, but I just feel birthday parties may have lost their initial meaning or taste. What is a birthday party meant to be?? A gathering of good friends to celebrate joyous occassion?? Celebration of your own joyous occasion?? If it is to celebrate your own joyous occasion of turning another year older, wouldn't inviting your close of good friends be good enough rather than inviting people whom you aren't even very close to??
To say that the more the merrier, why don't you hold the birthday party in a small cosy area?? That way don't you feel that a lot of people turned up for your party? Personally, to me, a gathering of close friends would be more than sufficient for me... It serves the purpose all round. Rather than talking to people and put a FAKE front.....
Yeapz.... Of course, what I've written is always one-sided and bias sometimes.... You be the judge *winkz*

• My first problem:

Being nitty picky about right and wrong.......... Which ends up in me flaring up too often.....

Solution:
Control.... Yeah rite man.... How to control sia??? Hmm.... Must try.....

• My second problem:

Being a SORE LOSER!!!!

Solution:
Lose more.... You aren't the best in the world.... There's always a higher level person around....


Bottomline: CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE TO THOSE THINGS!

A kiss in modern day context is now considered as a greeting.... Europeans actually kiss each other's cheeks when they greet each other..... Couples now kiss in the open, sometimes locking in each others' lips for like minutes bwahahaha...... In the past, we considered kiss as a way of showing affections for someone very special or dear to his or her heart..... Now kissing is considered as a form of greeting...
There can be many forms of kissing: a quick peck on the cheeks, a fleeting flying kiss, a short but sensual Quebec kiss, a Eskimo kiss where two ppl touch each others' noses and rub back and forth, a hot and sensual FRENCH KISS!!!! Muahhaahah..... Ok ok control.....control..... Well, was watching this anime called Ichigo 100% (strawberry 100%)... And well I kinda got the idea from there.... Why can we use a handshake as a representation of kiss?? I mean it sounds stupid but I think a handshake does serve the same purpose doesn't it?? In a handshake you can feel the person's warmth and touch... Maybe its just isn't seen tat way tat's all..... Bwahahaha...... Ok i think ppl are starting to think i'm going crazy....
Oh well..... Think abt it a handshake to replace a kiss?? Would it be the same???

Yawnzzzz.... Nothing to do in the office now... Bwahahah.... That just proves one thing: I'm too god damn efficient!!! Bwahahahhahaa..... I'm good man I tell yah..... Oh well.... The weather's turning cold.... Or rather the air con here is FREAKIN cold!!! Grr... Wonder how ppl survive in this temperature man... I already have so much fats and I'm feeling cold i wonder how abt the rest leh.... Tsk tsk tsk... Hmm... Its almost lunch time anyway I wonder I can hold out till then teeheheheheh....
So tired.. Slept at 3 plus woke up at 7 today... Freakin hell man... Oh well.....
Been thinking what I wanna get for my 21st birthday... To me it really isn't anything special.... Its just another birthday lor...
Nothing interesting on being 21 except that you can watch porn outright in the open bwhahaha..... Oh well... maybe being 21 just means having more RESPONSIBILITIES like working, raising families, paying taxes, looking after your parents, the things grown-ups do and teenagers don't...... So the bottomline is that, it isn't worth celebrating at all isn't it? I mean, grow older in exchange for something like dat isn't worth while is it... Not at all a fair trade I would say..... I never really understand the world sometimes.... Maybe when I hit 21 I will know..... Grow CAREY....
On second thought, I don't really wanna grow up...... Coz its such a hassle.... What a dilemna.... Tsk tsk... Haiyah ANYTHING LAH EHHEHEHEHE... I know weining will kill me when he hears tat....... oh well......
Oh yah to those who see this entry arh... Don't bother getting a present for me... I don't know wat I want and don't waste money on me lah.... :-P.... Oh well, Maybe I could have a proper birthday celebration on tat day.... Which does mean throwing a bday party to me or any BIG HOO HA thing.... I would love a gathering lah... Simple nice and warm....
Arrrhhhh..... This makes me think abt my nxt entry liaoz... Birthday parties.... Hungry liaoz... Will talk abt it another time... My stomach is much too impt to be left for a journal entry teeheheheheh....

Nothing beats working and having fun at the same time I tell yah... Of course my job isn't fun at all... But the fun thing is tat I have web access and I'm given a personal private cubicle to do all my work... So which means I can chat, surf the net and do my work at the same time.... YEAH!!!! Isn't tat fun... Anyway I'm doing nothing now so I'm typing this blog since I've done finish my work for the day and my boss isn't back to delegate me any tasks... Oh well SLACKTIME!!! Of course, I'm a dilligent and hardworking person lor... No doubt abt it... I always meet my deadlines like way WAY beforehand... I was supposed to hand in my work at the end of the day today but I already finished it in the morning... YAWNZZZ.... Oh well... I'm so damn good lah.... Heheheheh...
The work environment is very fun... Everyone is very friendly and nice.... But I think there's always more to meet the eye in such a workplace lah.... Afterall working in a group, people don't see eye to eye abt things sometimes... Hence the politics begin..... I'm working closely with Marina and Poh Ling. Marina is a eurasian I think, and she's very fun to talk to... She's very jovial and she has this habit of talking to herself sometimes..... Which can be quite amusing at times... No offence teheheheheh...... Poh Ling is the person who sits in the cubicle next to me... She doesn't talk much except for work purposes and delegating jobs lah.... Of course, I'm always pressured to do my work accurately...... There Julia whose always greeting people with a smile and she's always so happy... I think its because of her tat Marina is also so jovial since they both sit beside one another.... Afterall its an infectious disease..... Kekekekekke...... Oh yeah forget another impt point, I'm working in a HR office. I'm the only guy working there apart from another guy...... SO LUCKY RITE?!?!?? MUAHAHAHHAHAHA......
Working in an office is really interesting and I always have work to do everytime... But I always look forward to the end of the day lah... Moreover I can talk to people online when I get bored or tired which drives away all my boredom or pain..... Well... My boss is back.. Looks like I have more work cut out for me.. Happy working...Cheerios.....

Aaaah... I back to this little world of mine....
Feels so good to be back... Where things just simply flow and I write wateva i want to write..... Its been awhile since I blogged.... Everything just seems to be the way it was before... Lots of things have happened...
Been doing lots of stuff like GETTING A JOB... Gosh its so irritating... Can't even get a decent job now... Looks like reality really hit me right in the face man.... How to make a name for myself in this world... This thought has really hit the veins of my thought.... There are quite a number of ppl around me who have started their own business.... Allan just started his own camp instructor company with a group of friends..... Fwah... can't help admire him man... That's another step to greatness allan trust me...... Met Ji wei recently and he has his own handphone design shop at plaza singapura... Even kenny has his own plans to go out into business..... I wonder if it really is such a good idea to venture into business... What kind of business would be a profitable one to go into at this point of time? Hmm.. Maybe its really fun to be a budding business man....