Somehow, I really cannot sleep.... I close my eyes but i seriously can't sleep.....

I'm really bothered by it.

I'm really worried. Why is she in such agony? What's going on?

Have I been so insensitive and such a idiot that I have made her that unhappy?

It really hurts to see her so unhappy and I wish I could do something about it.

Yes, I will rot in hell for being such as asshole.

I feel like writing stuff. I just need the inspiration.

Just as things look for the worst, somehow hope appears and things seem different now...

I wonder what is the true meaning of happiness? For we humans are too selfish to know anything about happiness...

The porcupine dilemma - Everytime when I see her feeling troubled or in feeling down, it really makes me want to put down whatever I'm doing and be there for her. But yet being so close to her, I may unknowingly be hurt by her remarks as her mechanism of self-defense raises up.

Should I bite the bullet and embrace the quills that pierce through me? Yes, I will. For there is something that is greater than the pain that pierces me.

Its really funny at the things I do. I just need someone to pass me news that something bad happened to her and I would put aside all my worries and pain with regards to her, get out of the house in lightning speed and purchase her favourite beancurd. Yes that involves travelling from one end of the island to the other.

Inside my heart, my thoughts were: I just want to be there for her and cheer her up.

But upon delivering the beancurd, her reply was," You didn't tell me you were coming." First thought that hit my mind was thinking that she just wanted to spend time with her mum after a bad day. In the past, I would think she was being unappreciative. But if you think properly, I put myself through this pain of going to get her favourite beancurd. Who could I blame?

Well, if consuming that bowl of beancurd did bring a smile to her face. I did my job of making her feel better. Those were not offerings of peace or sympathy. Its just something that I hope would make her happy. That's all.

Voyage - Ayumi Hamasaki

We travel this road to find happiness.
See? You look good with a smile on your face.

These beautiful, fragile days are reborn, unfaded.

In the season of dazzling burned seas
and in the season of dancing snowflakes

whenever I turned around, you were there.

We travel this road to find happiness.
Everyone is a traveler, carrying his own never-healing wounds.
See? You look good with a smile on your face.

How many times have I gotten lost?
Every time, the one who extended his

warm helping hand was you.

At the end of this long path, what will we think?
Everyone is a traveler, wandering about in search of love.
Let's go together until we tire of it.

At the end of this long path, what will we think?
Everyone is a traveler, wandering about in search of love.
Let's go together until we tire of it.

I wonder if you know it really hurts when you keep doing that. I thought you said you would try to be honest? Honestly, I think I've seen enough to know what kind of person you are. Anyway, I get the hint.

You don't really give two shits about me as a person and as a friend anyway. Its about time I start taking care of myself.