Words of a wise person: " Be confident of yourself, learn to conquer yourself, only then you will conquer others..." That's how it should be now. Thats the way it should be. No retreat, no surrender..... Forward, we march! Thanks for the advice!!!

Another post in bed... These few days my entries have been on my bed. Lol that because i'm so lazy to even put my lappie on my table and do stuff. Bed's more comfortable you know. Hmm.. How to get to know someone better?? Its indeed a game everyone plays where the male-female engage in a cat and mouse game where the roles are constantly reversed or switched... No ppl I do not have a target but i do want to get to know a particular gal better. That doesn't mean i like her or something just find somethign very attractive about her. Whether she's suitable for me thats for me to know when i talk to her... But i guess the ultimate point is the fact that its diff for me... Especially when i go all out... perhaps i should be more relax bah....
Studies has become secondary i realised and getting a gf has somewhat become a top priority... Thats freakin weird man or stupid ppl may say but I guess i just want to be loved and to love others..... Let's hope i can focus for the next two weeks to mug my exams!! sigh.... Tired man.. Initially i was gonna write even more but i forgot.....

Three more chapters two more hours to go... And i completely forgot what i studied for the past 24 hours..... Mwahahaha........ GG man back to studying just needed to release a random topic!!

Well.... I'm lying in bed again as usual. Just thinking about what happened on Fri. There's just this gal in my ltb class she attracts me to her. Its like this magnet that just makes me wanna know about her. The frustrating thing is that I don't know how to do so how to get to know her. She maybe a potential target just that i want to find out more about her. Its irritating that i can't ask anyone coz the last time something similar happened, weining and xianna made a bet about it which really hurt my feelings... So what do I do? totally confused and irritated.. Is it an opportunity or just a distraction... Life is really a pain in the ass.......

Hmm... I'm lying in bed with a little time to spare. Hmm... Been in a pensive mood about practically everything from people learning how to smoke to how much I like what I am studying about. Let's talking about a closer topic. Smoking. Seriously I have no qualms about smoking but I completely disagree that smoking is the only form of destressant you have. But then again if people want to smoke I can't really control it can I. Being taught in the army that smokers are also humans indeed changes my perception about it but using smoking as a relaxant is just something i feel unept... Aiyoh why i so lor soh one keep repeating the same thing over and over again..... No wonder i'm an old pensive grenadier man....
What i;m studying about... Well, can't say I like everything completely but i think i'm starting to like marketing seriously. Its pretty interesting I would say and gives me a lot of perceptions to different things like how companies now market themselves above the noise. Maybe its really something I wanna do in future. Sigh Its raining cats and dogs outside finally. I just wondering why the heck have i not gotten over the fact about SSU. The possible life it robbed me. But thats just all hypothesis. Whats affecting me is whether should i still be acquaintances with my old exco. Ppl who should be burned on a stake, thrown screaming from a helicopter from the sky or mothers should have other plans such as abortion. Got a little carried away there. But yeah the hate is still there the pain is still there..... Backstab is indeed a painful thing something which even time may not heal. Some of you may think its childish but hey what you expect me to do? Get on with life yes i've done it but I just can forgive them. Freakin hypocrites. If there's anyone I would like to bang yes hypocrites are the number one people I would love to bang.
Indeed where has my direction in school gone?? Honestly I don't know everyday is just a normal day go to sch meeting training tuition go home. What else can i do build my cv? Thats the conclusion my friends came up: Carey needs a girlfriend. Thats another topic that has a sad history if you guys were to think hahahah... Nvr succeeded don't think i ever will. Sigh.... Life sucks....

Wow its been ages since i've wrote in... Well, been in a pensive mood and this poor blog almost died due to my absence of entries in it... Been busy man rather lazy to write... Well, getting the rythm back in place so here i am to write some stuff....
Been in a pensive mood recently, thinking abt practically everything and anything.... As we speak i'm actually ty[ing in bed haaahhaaaa.... I was thinking about all the gals I've liked so far... Sigh, I practically like half this world... But that special someone hasn't arrived for me it seems and i guess the wait continues.... Am i too picky or do i screw it all up together... Things don't seem to make sense sometimes... life i agree isn't just about gf but i was wondering how it owuld be like to share everything in your world with someone... I'm an idealist i guess. I must get what i want if not i'll be terribly devastated... Just like what happened in the SSU elections. Still can't let go of that at all. Still pissed with my exco. I hate them... That fire still burns inside of me in hope that they will all burn in hell and die..... Emotions really complete human beings i guess.. Fury makes it the perfect weapon. I really wonder why humans are born with just feelings: lust, fury, anger, jealousy all these negative feelings fuel the war in this world be it big or small. Yet to let go would be something to difficult where pride comes in.
I really wonder why people feel lost at times like how i am now... I feel like i'm in some sort of a mid life crisis where i don't know what to do or where to go... Why is it i'm thinking of something yet nothing at the same time? That truly is a question which i have no answer to myself. Its just this feeling that i'm really lost? Louis is that how you feel at times? Lost indeed is are great nickname i think... Humans are always lost in this world. It feels as though that one word really is somethign so great and powerful. Just that one word. Lost.