Shit! I forgot to study for my theory exam damn it siaozzz liaozz...... How how?!??! Screw it lah afterall its the second time i've done it wahahahahha..... Besides that, went out to see weiyi's comissioning parade..... Though the drills were f up but i gotta to admit that I was full of envy for the officers or rather officers-to-be..... Everyone didn't care abt whether the drills were f up, they were more concern which one is my son, which one is my friend?!?!? I was so envious becoz i could never take part in such a comissioning parade and was wondering if anyone would do the same for me if i ever did something like a concert or probably a competition....
Writing till here, I realised that all my life I just wanted friends who would cheer me on and spur me on..... During my bowling or any other tournaments, it would just be me and me only..... I was always envious of the other competitors who had people to cheer them or support them on.... It always kinda felt that I was the lone ranger..... So lonely..... Maybe that's why I'm such a desperate person now.... Coz i never felt the encouragement from anyone but myself..... Even when i'm on a journey to losing weight, no one ever gives me words of encouragement. Instead its just ahahahah you serious abt losing weight arh?!?! I understand its jokes sometimes but can't there be just a single word of encouragement like hey you're doing good keep it up?!?! Its abt time someone did it for me instead of me doing it for myself.... Coz I'm tired and sick of telling myself to push myself to limits, telling myself i can do it....... wahahhaha its a little demanding and selfish of me oh well.............

Sianzzz......... I'm still having a fever and headache.... Arrrgggghhh.... What's worse is i still have to work tomolo... grrr...... screw the saf......

Its completely horrifying to see how inefficient the SAF can be...... Bloody hell... Wasn't feeling well yesterday. Down with a fever. Initially the temperature was 37.4 , but it went down in the evening. However, my body took a turn for the worst at midnite and my temperature shot up to 38.7.... Was shivering uncontrollably until i took two panadol tablets..... I called the duty nco to call my sgt and report to him my status which he told to observe my situation first... Unluckily my temperature increased to 39.8.... Something had to be done so my sgt instructed the duty nco to call up control to get a driver down to send me to receive medical attention... Control took 15 min to make clear of the situation and another 15 min to decide what had to be done... Next another 20 min was spent deciding which driver would send me: the runway driver or the control driver..... The driver took one hour to come pick me up to the medical centre...By the time action was taken, my temp had subsided.... After "much" diagnosis, the medic transferred me to paya lebar air base for observation... By then, my temperature had already subsided to normal.... Hence i was discharged and wonders of all wonders there was no transport for me back to changi.. I had to go back myself which was absolutely brainless..... Now i really wonder whether my sickness had subsided because of my body's own self healing powers or the help of the medics and drivers.... YAWNZZZ

Is this a miracle or what yesterday i went out with her again??!?!? Am I dreaming??? This must be too good to be true.... Not to get carried and go into dreamland, she was just accompanying me as a friend... So envious of her now that she is happy in love with Pak Wing (first time calling that B!@#%^D by his name but gotta get used to it somehow..) sometimes i just want to be in Pak Wing's shoes for a moment while they are together....... Sigh if only science was that advanced.... heheheh maybe i should come up with special potions like dat.....
I really love time spent with her especially when we talk or do anything together.... Its just so wonderful... The feeling is just great.... But I know i can't get too close or else I'll end up hurting the both of us.... Sigh... Enough about that... Just bought a brand new jigsaw puzzle... It pretty similar to the last one i did but the scenery is different... I'm so happy... Got the two favourite pictures now.... Must find somewhere nice to frame up though if not wat a waste man..... Really enjoying my leisure time now coz its kinda like my pace... When I'm free, I've got driving, tuition or exercise plans... At least I'm making good use of time spent heheh.... But sometimes when you come to a point where you don't wanna do anything but go out with ppl it gets really irritating especially if you can't find anyone hehehe..... Looking back at my jc and army days, I really wondered if i've matured and grown... It seems as though I have but when i look back at some events and the way i behaved it seems again I haven't.... Maybe I still haven't learnt to curb my hot-temper I guess.... Sigh... Well no point evaluating my year now when i still have half a year to go so heck it man.... Let's go all the way first....

Went out with her again today...She looked completely stunning to me... Though tanned but she was dressed simple but nice...Maybe that's wat I like about her I guess... We had dinner at Kenny Roger's by her definition which is not that ex but affordable... Had quite a good dinner talked about everything practically under the sun..... Then I saw my seniors(council) outside the restaurant. They were like giving me that I-know-who-you're-with look which made me a little worried.... Wondered how she felt afterall she was already attached to someone else... Luckily she wasn't with me when I went outside the restaurant...
Later we went for a walk she suggested watching a movie since I wanted to watch one and couldn't find a company.... But we headed to carrefour to buy a frame for her cross-stitch... We just shopped around and browsed stuff.... Exiting from carrefour we went upstairs to check out movie times.... Just before we could proceed to the cinema I spotted the latest driving game and pointed to it... She suggested we go and take a look and my itchy fingers decided to have a go at the machine... She seemed pretty ok and looked quite interested in it... This surprised me as I thought gals like her didn;'t like the arcade.... She was pretty engrossed in watching the game and was rooting me throughout the game... The feeling was great.... I realised I had to stop somewhere so I suggested checking out the cinema times.... We realised there wasn't any interesting shows that we could watch together so in the end. She suggested going back to the arcade which kinda surprised me... We went back and played all the musical games like rock fever and percussion freaks... She was pretty good at percussion freaks and I gotta hand it to her for playing so well the first time... We also played time crisis 3 which wasn't much of a liking for her... Then she asked me wat I wanted for my birthday but I really could think of anything I would have liked so I suggested a neo print which she thought I was joking.... We continued playing games and finally it was time to go home... I asked her once more abt the neo print and it dawned upon her that I was serious... I wondered if she wanted to do it or not coz I was being very bold at that time... She kinda agreed and I told her it was alright and we could do it another time... Inside my heart I had mixed feelings... I felt happy since she agreed but I was scared I was scaring her away... On the way back we shared a scoop of ice cream and talked all the way back to near her house...
It was a very eventful day to me and it felt as if it was a very very good date.... Inside my heart, I realized I was dreaming coz she was attached already and seemed happy with her boyfriend... Of course, I didn't want to be the third party or anything to jeopardize her well and happiness... A part of me still likes her.... What should I do?? Sigh a hedgehog's dilemma wouldn't you say.....

Its kinda amazing that you can talk to someone for so long and it feels as though you only talked to her for like half an hour??? Time really flies when you're having fun or enjoying yourself huh?? Its the first time since quite a while that we have talked for so long... Really made me feel kinda happy or rather energised... I guess we can consider us as good friends now... Hehehe... Its kinda amazing how this relationship has become but i guess i'll find someone eventually......
Sianzz so boredzzz.... Everyone around me in camp tells me i should go get a galfriend soon if not i'll drive them crazy with my antics... Hmm... feels kinda lonely sometimes especially when you have nothing to do... You can't always bug the same person if not you would be making a nuisance out of yourself. Sometimes i wonder what the hell am I doing watching a movie alone in the cinema... How i wished someone was with me to watch the movie especially when its like romantic movies i would feel kinda awkward at first coz the ppl surrounding me are couples and I'm like alone?!??! HaIzZz.... Getting a girlfriend isn't as easy as it seems to be.... If you're looking for true love, its not the sex you're looking for but someone to accompany and share with you your pain and happiness for the rest of your life... If you're looking for part-time girlfriend, its just the sex you're looking for.... The concept of true love is hard to define and sometimes your first love may not neccessarily be your true love.... If so there isn't a point in carrying on(with your first love), move on and find your one true love....
Wait what the hell am i writing??!?!?! Rampant scribblings of a bored and rubbish person.... In any case, should stop before I start to crap even more... Signing off....