Reading what I have wrote... I realize I'm a FOOKER.... How can I be like dat... How can I be so evil.... Am I ??? Am I ??? Oh the frustrations...... Life goes on.... I 'll pull myself out of this rut......

They came to watch the productions together today - "The Prayer for the Unfaithful Women" Or rather picnic.... They were so lovey dovey...... I acted I was ok... But when they left I was in shambles.... My life just crumbled apart.... Despair, jealousy, anger, the negative feelings just started to set it..... I don't know... To see someone you like get snatched away twice really isn't too good for one's health.. I've been hurt not once but twice.... What does god or whoever want with me??
Maybe I'm thinking too much but is the male guy trying to piss me off or irritate me??? Lately he's like smiling at me, laughing.... Is that mocking me??? I'm too sensitive bah.... But what truly riles me was that they came just took a glance at the artwork, walked to a corner where i could see them and ate dinner...... So is that on purpose?? Then when they leave they hold hands and walk off..... So did they watch the play? I don't think so.... Arrrggghhh ok ok kill me now coz I'm an asshole for thinking so negatively.......

I must wake up!!! Cannot be like this anymore.... MOVE ON!!! STUPID PIECE OF CRAP!!!! THAT'S RITE!!!! I will move on... I will survive.... But the painful memories will still haunt me for a long time to come!!! WALK ON!!!! To the two of them, all the best.... May you guys find peace and harmony...... Hmmm that sounds a bit weird lah.... Ok ok... wish the best for them lah!! Sigh.... I feel sucky..... But at least I know what i must do....
To think abt it, before they got attached, she was talking to me abt the problem. Whether she should accept him or not. The issues about religon, stress getting to her were being talked abt... I being the good friend advised her about it... Telling her to accept him, give him a chance.... Ease the tensions, make her feel better about everything... Of course, in the end here they are now happily together.... No thanks to me.... No one ever remembers the good things they did for other people anymore... I guess life's like dat.... One good turn never gets another.... For being helpful in school, being nice to all my friends, trying to help everyone in every way I possibly can.... No one remembers.... I'm just a friend that's all..... Who gives a bloody hoot abt the good things i did anyway..... They'll only remember the bad ones, like Carey likes to lose his temper, Carey's so childish, Orh that bloody loser arh....... Have you remembered any point of time I helped you???? Have you remembered favours I did?? None.....
In fact, I realise I've never been a good listener to all my VERY GOOD friends..... I don't know if you guys reading this feel lah but yes YOU GUYS ARE MY VERY GOOD FRIENDS!!! I've never been there for you guys.... Never been a bitching partner, never been there when you guys needed me... What sort of friend am I?? What's wrong with me man...... What should I do to know you guys better?? I'm never good at talking just saying hi and bye nothing liaozz don't know wat to say..... I'm extroverted but introverted at the same time.... Sigh..... Advice again ppl??? But one thing i've to say is that i'm very blessed to have such good friends to listen to me whine everyday and bitch.... Life wouldn't be the same without you guys... Thanks a million... Sigh.... Think I'll sign off before I feel depressed again.... Sucks.....

They're attached... Happy for them sad for me...... Well, everytime I'm always the one with the bad ending while others the good ending.... How nice... Well at least i'm man enough to find the best way out... Put on a brave front and be happy for them.... Act as if i'm not bothered.... What else can I do?? Best option available..... Sigh.... I wanna cry, hug something warm, comfort myself.... Nothing is there to be offered...... At least, I know i'm rational enough to do the rite things I hope.... Tough times don't last tough men do..... Yeah rite.... An Jing by Jay Chou...... The best song for me..... I think....