I just realised I'm a bloody nosey bugger...... Why do I go and poke into other people's business for??? Too concern about others??? Maybe..... But why am I so K-A-Y-P-O!!! Haiyoh..... Sometimes being kaypo may even make matters worse lor.... Why why why??? I think I have nothing to do so I think deeply about things which therefore enforces me to take action into doing something stupid.... Over-enthusiastic some might call it.... Overly caring others would say.... But K-A-Y-P-O is the singaporean way..... Sounds bad isn't it?? I'm so kaypo..... Poking my nose into others people's business.... Actually seriously speaking, I meant to help people and not cause more problems to them.... So its really not logical to me.... I try to be helpful but realise I'm causing more harm or damage instead.... Simple example: Someone seems to be in a bad mood and I'm worried abt him and I ask why he's in a bad mood.... Instead, it makes him in an even worse mood.... Isn't that adding fuel to the flames or something like dat?Why why why??? Am I not matured enough to mind my own business?? Can someone care to explain the art of caring in a sense such that I don't get hurt or others don't get hurt?? Logic isn't working itself... Wait I think I am the one that has no logic or sense..... Someone grant me logic and sense!!!!

I realise this blogger has been my bitching partner for the past one year ever since I got enlisted into dog section..... Oh my dear blogger...... Faithful old bitching partner..... Well, at least here's a place where my feelings and sorrows are poured.... No secrets, nothing, just a session where I spit out all my feelings, mostly bad... A tribute I say to my dear partner for a year..... Cheers.... And many more to come........

Getting over something definitely ain't easy... In fact, I'm not doing that well with getting over it... Sigh..... Life's a mess... Apart from tbeing abt to ord.... In fact, everything's pretty haywire... At home, Outside....... Its a mess out everywhere.... Oh well..... Life's all abt trials and tribulations..... I hope I'll pull through this lah.....

me: remember wat i said during the truth or dare period?

her: ya i noe. tt's y i oso feel bad abt this

me: don't worry lah. Love is something which is two way. I can't force something rite? Point a gun at your head?

her: no la. but i think even open mentioning... u mite feel hurt n i dun wan it to be so cos i do treasure our frenship

me: i do too

her: n i dun wan my fren to be hurt in anyway though i always suan u la... but tt's beyond e pt... cos i suan for fun onli... not tt i mean it la

me: that's why i hope the best for both of you. i choose to move away quietly lah

her: hm... i always think tt u r a gentlemen..... U further proved it

me: nah.... never was coz i never grew up sometimes i also lament at the luck i have with gals but i'm glad i have chumps to see me thru the days lor....

her: chumps? i jus think u r... e way u treat pple.. not jus gals. but guys oso

me: fat friends=chumps bwahahahahha ok ok chumps= good friends from sc....

To tell the truth, I haven't let go completely yet.... Its hard, but i'll try..... Luckless i say with gals... But am I worth the compliment of a gentleman??? You guys tell me......

Hmmm... Life never seems to flow the right way you wanted it to... That's the beauty of life, to fight on and to ride the waves..... Sigh...... All these are nothing but memories... Memories in my life which I need to remind myself... Memories which i wonder if I did the right thing at times....... At least, I know I've got friends.... Friends to see me through the end of the day... I appreciate that.... Oh well... life goes on.... Not a second to be wasted, not a moment to be missed.... Awaken from the ashes and soar above the skies...... To find what is there beyond.....

Each time you meet with a problem, talk it out... Don't keep everything to your heart.... Keeping things inside just builds up fuel.... All you need is a spark plug to ignite the flames within... I know I will..... If not, I would be the same.....

Time heals all wounds, but leaves scars behind.........

Something's going on.... I don't know what it is but it definitely smells fishy........ Today my friend Mr B was supposed to msg me regarding some present that a council junior made for us.... Apparently he didn't tell me nuts abt it lah.... Then my friend comes and ask me if anything is wrong between the both of us.... Apparently he went to ask my friend whether i'm going to the og gethering at his place or not.....
Question : Why is he doing this? What is the motive? I haven't done anything have I? Ok I have to admit that my responses to him are a little cold since yesterday..... But how come this happened??? All within one day??? Man......
Somebody save me arh..........

No appettite.......... Don't feel like eating....... But life goes on........ Oh art thou thy wretched life...... Why why why....... 10 thousand reasons why....... blabber blabber fats on fire...........

I'm gonna feel lousy for these few weeks ppl...... So my apologies for the lousy next few weeks to come........ Life sucks......

The Story

I liked a girl who was an OGL this year. We stayover at her house during the orientation bbq. Played games and had lots of fun..... Then we played truth or dare..... I was actually so stupid to confess I liked the gal in front of so many ppl..... Including B (names in this story have been withheld so as to protect their identities).... Of course to make things feel better i had to say i had an infactuation on another gal lah...
The game of courtship went on with the ignorant little me unaware of things happening.... To think i had asked B whether he liked anybody in the OG or not and I believed that he actually said no.......I asked several times again but the answer was either too dodgy or it was a no... I was too stupid to believe people at face value..... How had not seen the signs coming?? It was always B who organised hospital trips to visit her. It was always B who told me abt the OG outings and who was his contact point? Her..... How come B always talks to her only and does not mingle with the rest of the OGLS??? WHY DIDN'T I SEE THE SIGNS??? WHY AM I SO STUPID!!!! Of course that's a self explanatory question isn't it?
Till today, only then did I see the signs..... Her best friend told us that she always talks abt what they do and the things they talk...... Everything started making sense....... To think I actually believed him. I was his tennis training partner and a friend who lent him a listening ear about his problems in his army camp. I though we were friends. Couldn't he have told me something??? He could have just told me when I asked him whether he liked anybody in the OGL rite??? Why didn't he??? Life has a way of teaching us things.... The older I grow the stupider I become..... Well done.... Well do...... Game Set Match!!! !#$ ^&*%$ beat Carey Loy 3 sets to love. 6-3, 6-1, 6-0.

The day where i got heartbroken is today...... How nice.......