Took this from someone else........

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?'
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?'
In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their
idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to
DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the imagery of that __expression.
It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened
TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's
idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will
notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the
euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,
a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVERjust happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.'
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship
WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make'
love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.
Remember always this:

'God determines who walks into your life.It is up to you to decide who you let to walk away,who you let to stay, and who you refuse to let go.

Somehow, I really cannot sleep.... I close my eyes but i seriously can't sleep.....

I'm really bothered by it.

I'm really worried. Why is she in such agony? What's going on?

Have I been so insensitive and such a idiot that I have made her that unhappy?

It really hurts to see her so unhappy and I wish I could do something about it.

Yes, I will rot in hell for being such as asshole.

I feel like writing stuff. I just need the inspiration.

Just as things look for the worst, somehow hope appears and things seem different now...

I wonder what is the true meaning of happiness? For we humans are too selfish to know anything about happiness...

The porcupine dilemma - Everytime when I see her feeling troubled or in feeling down, it really makes me want to put down whatever I'm doing and be there for her. But yet being so close to her, I may unknowingly be hurt by her remarks as her mechanism of self-defense raises up.

Should I bite the bullet and embrace the quills that pierce through me? Yes, I will. For there is something that is greater than the pain that pierces me.

Its really funny at the things I do. I just need someone to pass me news that something bad happened to her and I would put aside all my worries and pain with regards to her, get out of the house in lightning speed and purchase her favourite beancurd. Yes that involves travelling from one end of the island to the other.

Inside my heart, my thoughts were: I just want to be there for her and cheer her up.

But upon delivering the beancurd, her reply was," You didn't tell me you were coming." First thought that hit my mind was thinking that she just wanted to spend time with her mum after a bad day. In the past, I would think she was being unappreciative. But if you think properly, I put myself through this pain of going to get her favourite beancurd. Who could I blame?

Well, if consuming that bowl of beancurd did bring a smile to her face. I did my job of making her feel better. Those were not offerings of peace or sympathy. Its just something that I hope would make her happy. That's all.

Voyage - Ayumi Hamasaki

We travel this road to find happiness.
See? You look good with a smile on your face.

These beautiful, fragile days are reborn, unfaded.

In the season of dazzling burned seas
and in the season of dancing snowflakes

whenever I turned around, you were there.

We travel this road to find happiness.
Everyone is a traveler, carrying his own never-healing wounds.
See? You look good with a smile on your face.

How many times have I gotten lost?
Every time, the one who extended his

warm helping hand was you.

At the end of this long path, what will we think?
Everyone is a traveler, wandering about in search of love.
Let's go together until we tire of it.

At the end of this long path, what will we think?
Everyone is a traveler, wandering about in search of love.
Let's go together until we tire of it.

I wonder if you know it really hurts when you keep doing that. I thought you said you would try to be honest? Honestly, I think I've seen enough to know what kind of person you are. Anyway, I get the hint.

You don't really give two shits about me as a person and as a friend anyway. Its about time I start taking care of myself.

I've been doing lots of thinking and many things have been floating around in my head.

What do I view that is important in life:

1. Values and principles: In my life my guiding principle has always been very simple, the golden rule - Treat others the way you want others to treat you. Try to respect and understand everyone around you.
2. Family: Family for obvious reasons. Because complain as much as you want, you are blood related. There's nothing more reassuring than to have a family that stands by you no matter what you do.
3. Friends: People who you have been through thick and thin over the years. People who though not blood-related accept you for who you are and give you smacks on the head for being foolhardy and being an idiot.

What are my personal goals:

1. Pursuit of happiness: For everyone around me to be happy, including myself. Be it monetary (not excessive but enough for my family), physical or emotionally.
2. Fulfilling life : Experiences and to understand people from different walks of life. By traveling, kendo, reading up or meeting people from different walks of life.

What kind of woman am I looking out for:

1. Shares the same values and ideas that I do.
2. Someone who is able to be the cushion when I'm down but smack me in the head when I'm too down.

Things are still fuzzy. But I'll be updating this from time to time as things become clearer to me.

You say I'm the closest one out of the three. Seeing is believing, and what I saw doesn't make me believe a single word you said. Lies upon lies? Do you really mean about anything you say?

Like a child who gets caught red-handed stealing from the cookie jar, you did it thrice to me. You took a dagger and stabbed me straight in the heart, ripped it out for everyone to see and sliced it.

Why didn't you wanna talk to me anything about it? Why make useless attempts to cover what happened with more lies?

Even though I still want to be your friend, you don't seem as though you want to. You said," Thank you for the fishes." So is this the end of our friendship even? If you really wanted to salvage anything, i think you know what to do. But sometimes pride blinds our eyes to see things clearly.

I'm tired, I'm exhausted and I'm drained. Who cares anyway. I'm just a tool of use. Someone who just provides as and when on a whim. I don't mind doing all these nice stuff and go out of my way but show some appreciation.

IT REALLY FRUSTRATES ME THAT YOU TAKE ME FOR GRANTED. I might be a naive lover but I'm not stupid.

Its not just one time but many times i feel this way. Who cares, I can't be bothered anymore.

I think i know what the problem is. I brought in past baggages in. Having been hurt twice before badly, I became so protective and wanting to make things work that it resulted in something turning back on me. It really made me feel really stupid and emotional.

Hopefully, its still not too late for me. Yet i know i shouldn't hope but let things happen naturally. Afterall, it takes two hands to clap. I know I haven't given the porcupine much personal space because I am keen to make it work. But to ask me to suddenly switch is something difficult to do. I need to purge the inner demons in me to move on. I'm trying I really am.

Indeed, even if it takes me a long period of time. I will change.

A funny dream about kendo that involved secondary school students and friendly shiai's

"Lying when you're caught with your pants down only makes things worst and never better.

Promises are nothing when they are empty promises.

Words hold no value when you have been caught lying or giving empty promises.

Such is the harsh cruelty of life. "