I think i know what the problem is. I brought in past baggages in. Having been hurt twice before badly, I became so protective and wanting to make things work that it resulted in something turning back on me. It really made me feel really stupid and emotional.

Hopefully, its still not too late for me. Yet i know i shouldn't hope but let things happen naturally. Afterall, it takes two hands to clap. I know I haven't given the porcupine much personal space because I am keen to make it work. But to ask me to suddenly switch is something difficult to do. I need to purge the inner demons in me to move on. I'm trying I really am.

Indeed, even if it takes me a long period of time. I will change.