I'm pretty amazed with myself. How many times the same thing has happened but yet I am able to portray my depression, dismay, emotions and what ever shit you call it in as many wonderful ways as possible. Indeed, creativity just flows when you write huh...

I just don't feel like working now so might as well try to get this out of my system. Apparently, the heartache is as bad as the first time it happened. Why i ask myself? I have no answer. It didn't feel that bad after the first one. But this time it hurts so bad. My heart feels so heavy. Oh well still have to put on a happy face in front of everyone. Wonder how people do this man. Smile smile smile but it feels like SHIT inside? Don't they ever let it out?? Coz I know if i don't I'll go CRAZY..... Any thoughts on this anyone? Sitting here in my seat i feel like i'm treating things more maturely but inside it just feels HORRIBLE.

How I wished that at times like this there's someone i could have a shoulder to lie on and sayang. I'm sure everyone does. The road is long and winding ahead. I miss the councilors so much...... Still can remember everytime I felt like this at least one of them would be their for me.... But now they are all spread like seeds over the world. Even the ones here with me are busy with their own problems. I just wished I wasn't born to care for people but someone who is more bastardish........