Why do I need a girlfriend?? Till now that question has never crossed my mind...... Is it for love? For Sex? To cure my loneliness? Its kinda weird that this question has never crossed my mind.... To me what is a girlfriend?? Someone to take away all my pain and loneliness?? Its kinda funny that I never thought about that quetion.... Moreover, I've always thought about myself. What do I have to give the opposition?? What can I give her?? Can I give her happiness?? Can I do the same?? Take away her pain and loneliness?? I just realised how stupid, dumb, childish and selfish I was..... Love is never about one person but about two.... It takes two hands to clap but it takes two hearts to love each other.... It never was just about me me and me... Instead what have I done to deserve her. Yes load her gifts and talk about things but have I really truly and sincerely ever took away her pain and gave her anything to be happy about? Materialisticlly yes I think I have but never have I warmed her heart.... Now it has dawn upon me why did she reject me.... I have absolutely nothing that can comfort and care for her needs and everything.... We can click but loving each other is different.... I guess finally I can see a bit of the light... I hope....

Of course, saying or writing this is gonna change nothing but one thing for sure, when I'm in denial and think about her I will tell myself this... To love someone is to care and give them something that their hearts would be warmed forever.... It takes two hearts to love so don't be selfish. Be mature....... Don't always think about yourself yourself. Think about others.... Hopefully I'm mature enough to make sense into that thick skull of mine..... But one thing is for sure I'll be a happier man if I think maturely.....

Life isn't about the choices you have but more about the choices to make and how you live with your choices. I've always told myself that but I realise there's more to it.... Yes it about the choices you make but how you live with it is the real difficult part coz we are all humans... Now I realise that to comfort someone isn't easy.... Just by saying the politically correct thing doesn't solve anything, speaking rationally does.... Maybe what I'm typing now is more of crap than truth but hey at least I'm typing my heart out..... When I look back two, twenty years at least I know I wrote my true feelings.... And judge whether what I have said is true or false.....